


Where Everything Is Allowed

by Transposable_Element



Category: Chronicles of Narnia - C. S. Lewis
Genre: Fluff, Multi, Post - The Last Battle, Sexual Humor, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-07
Updated: 2014-07-07
Packaged: 2018-02-03 20:05:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1755885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Transposable_Element/pseuds/Transposable_Element
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What really goes on in heaven?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where Everything Is Allowed

**Author's Note:**

> “It’s all right,” said Peter. “…I’ve a feeling we’ve got to the country where everything is allowed.”  
> \-- _The Last Battle_
> 
> Advisory: Nothing explicit, but lots of implied sex, with multiple partners, in some mildly naughty combinations. One joke about a sexual practice that I'm sure Lucy would never want to try, even in the afterlife.

Everyone you had ever heard of (if you knew the history of those countries) seemed to be there. Lucy kept seeing people she hadn’t thought about in years. It was overwhelming.

Behind her she heard a cry of joyful recognition, and when she turned she saw Edmund embracing a voluptuous little Calormene woman. Lucy didn’t recognize her, but then she couldn’t see the woman’s face very well, since it was mashed up against Edmund’s. Judging by her clothes she was a tarkheena, but everybody was royalty here, or nobility at the _very_ least, so that might not signify what she had been in the Shadowlands. 

“Peter,” she asked, “Do you know who that is with Edmund?”

“I don’t think so,” Peter said doubtfully. “I suppose he must have met her when he was in Tashbaan.”

“I wonder why he never mentioned her.”

Just then Edmund left off kissing the tarkheena and said “Your husband—”

“He’s not here,” said the tarkheena, shaking her head. “A loyal servant of Tash to the very end.” 

They were mashed together again before Lucy could ask to be introduced, so she gave up and turned back to Peter. He was scanning the crowd as though looking for someone. Corin Thunder-Fist was standing nearby, and Peter grabbed his shoulder. “Corin, I haven’t seen Tran. Isn’t he here?” he asked.

“Oh, yes, I saw him a few minutes ago, somewhere over there,” said Corin, gesturing. “He wasn’t sure you’d want to see him.” 

Peter grinned. “Then he’s an idiot,” he said, and loped off in the direction Corin had indicated. Lucy recalled that Lord Tran of Archenland had been a great friend of Peter’s for several years, back in the old days when they were kings and queens. But then the two men had a sudden falling out. Peter was obviously extremely upset about it, but he would never tell Lucy why they had quarreled. Susan said it was “men being stupid,” which was no help since it was her explanation for a great many things their brothers did. And then not long after that they all went back through the wardrobe. Lucy thought it was sweet that Peter wanted to make it up right away, now that he had the chance.

People did seem to be acting oddly. Eustace and Jill were sitting in the grass. He had his arm around her and they were looking at each other in a way that made Lucy feel that she ought to give them some privacy—besides which, the idea of anybody looking at Eustace that way made her feel a trifle ill. But she wasn’t quite sure which way to turn. Edmund had caught up the tarkheena in his arms and was carrying her off somewhere. So romantic—although he really wasn't looking where he was going, and it would be less romantic if he dropped her. Lady Polly was walking away in a different direction with a sweet-faced dryad who had her arm around Lady Polly’s waist. Lucy watched them for a moment in puzzlement: she had never seen two women kiss like that before. Lord Digory was stroking his beard as he conversed earnestly with Roonwit the centaur. When she tried to get his attention he patted her arm absently and said “Not now, Lucy, dear. Not now.” As she backed away she almost tripped over Cor and Aravis, who were lying in the grass. That, at least, was nothing new; Lucy had last seen them when they were 16, and she had warned King Lune that he ought to chaperon them more carefully if he didn’t want to have a hurry-up wedding on his hands. On a nearby hilltop, Jewel the unicorn was holding court before a variety of equine and semi-equine admirers. Puzzle the donkey was romping with two merry little fauns. 

Caspian, who had been talking to Tirian, turned to Lucy. “Say, Lucy—where’s Peter got to?” he asked.

“He went to see his old friend Lord Tran,” she said. “Over there.” She gestured. Peter had found Tran, who was obviously _extremely_ happy to see him.

“Oh, then he’s occupied. I’m sure I’ll see him later,” said Caspian amiably. Then he put an arm around Lucy and kissed her in a way that surprised her very much. Nothing like the brotherly pecks he had given her in the past. She was just deciding that she _quite_ liked it when he stepped back and looked at her. Apparently she made a funny face, because he laughed. “I’ll see you later, too,” he said, “when you have things sorted out.” His wife, Ramandu’s Daughter (did she have a name?), smiled at Lucy, and then she and Caspian strolled away hand in hand. Lucy was growing more and more confused.

Corin took hold of one of Lucy’s hands and started whispering in her ear, something about what a pash he had had for her when he was a boy, but she couldn’t understand him very well because Tirian had taken her other arm and was whispering in her other ear. It’s never easy to follow what people say when two of them are talking at once. Besides, Tirian kept nuzzling her earlobe in a very distracting way. Eventually she managed to make out what they were both talking about. Her eyes widened. “Really?” she said, looking from one to the other. Tirian was awfully dashing, but they had only just met. Corin, on the other hand, was an old friend, and although he wasn’t any particular age, he certainly wasn’t a little boy any more. She felt someone wrest her hand from Corin’s grasp. It was Lord Drinian, who was down on one knee, looking up at her roguishly. And there was that beautiful youth they had met on the way up here, Emeth (she liked him)...and Mora, the lovely Maenad who had cried so when Lucy had to go back to England...Lord Peridan, who had once kissed her after a banquet at Cair Paravel (which he really oughtn’t to have done, since he was married)...Duke Nicolai of Galma, who had been one of her more persistent suitors back in the old days...A dozen assorted nymphs....half the crew of the Dawn Treader (and what about the other half? where were _they_?)....All in all, it was a gratifyingly large crowd.

“I don’t have to choose just one?” she asked anxiously.

Corin shook his head. “Not here,” he said. “And there’s all the time in the world.”

Lucy smiled in relief. She wondered where Caspian had gone and when he was going to come back. He needn’t have gone away so quickly! For a moment she felt just a bit cross, but then she recalled what Corin had said: all the time in the world. No need to hurry. She’d see him again sometime.

There was a little rustle in the grass as Aravis, who was still lying nearby with Cor, sat up on her elbows. She grinned at Lucy.

“Careful,” Corin said. “Those two come as a set.” Lucy wasn’t at all sure what that meant, but whatever it was, she didn’t think she was ready for it yet. “I was miserable for months after you disappeared,” Corin told her.

“Were you? You poor boy!” she said. "But...only for months?" 

Corin shrugged. "I was 16. You know what it's like."

"Better than most people," she said ruefully. "I've been 16 _twice_!" She looked up at Corin. He really had grown up into an attractive man, and she had to start somewhere.

She turned to the others. “I’m afraid you’re going to have to wait,” she said, taking Corin’s arm. What was it Caspian had said? “Um…but I’m sure I’ll see you later.”

Aravis watched Lucy and Corin walk away together. She nudged Cor. “Do you think we should have told her the real reason he’s called Thunder-Fist?” she asked.

**Author's Note:**

> If you've read any of my other fic you may recognize certain themes and pairings. However, this piece is really not part of the same "universe" as most of my stories. I'm just recycling. Among other things, Lucy as a clueless innocent is not at all my usual vision of the character. Chaste, yes. Clueless and innocent, no.
> 
> A few phrases are taken directly from The Last Battle, e.g. "Everyone you had ever heard of (if you knew the history of those countries)." 
> 
> Lucy, describing their initial meeting with Emeth, says "I liked him" _twice_. Hmmmm.....


End file.
